My love affair with video games began back when I was six years old. About once a month, my mom would take me for a play date at the Jacobs' house. Olga Jacobs was one of my mom's dearest friends, and she had a son who was about my age named Tony. Although my mom called these little get-togethers "play dates", that wasn't really the case. They were actually an excuse for my mom to get out of the house on a Saturday afternoon, get me out of her hair, and get her drink on with a good friend. She and Olga drank their special "Mommy juice" that Tony and I weren't aloud to have, and Tony and I were shooed into the other room to entertain ourselves.
I didn't care all that much for Tony, but like I said, these "play dates" were more about "Mommy juice" than anything else. So I was stuck. Tony was a sickly, little guy with thick, black-rimmed glasses and a chili bowl haircut. He wore funny clothes that looked itchy and uncomfortable. No matter what time of year it was, he usually wore high-water corduroys and a button-up shirt. Not to pile it on, but in addition to his odd appearance his nose was always runny and he smelled like day-old cabbage. I should have felt sorry for the kid, but at the time he just weirded me out. Little did I know that one gloomy spring afternoon, that little snot would change my life.
As was typical for my visits to Tony's house, once our moms had busted out the booze and dismissed us, we would go into Tony's play room to carry out our toy choosing ritual. Hanging out with Tony would have been damn near torture if it weren't for the kid's amazing toys. I would always walk into the room before Tony, but I was careful not to walk too quickly. If I moved too fast, Tony would get really excited and try to race me. He was extremely uncoordinated, so he often times would trip and fall and in the process take me down with him, splattering me with snot and covering me with his nasty cabbage musk. I swear he could spray that stuff like a skunk. As soon as I got into the room I would find the coolest toys that I could - preferably the bigger the better - retreat into a secluded corner of the room, build what I liked to call my "powerful shielded fort of might and anger" and do my best to ignore Tony for the rest of the afternoon, warning him that anyone who penetrated the walls of my fort would die a horrible death of diarrhea and barf... What'd you expect? I was six and incredibly fascinated with bodily functions - mine and those of others. Hell, I still am.
Anyway, I moved quickly to hoard the largest, coolest toys I could find into my favorite corner and arrange them strategically to protect me from the interlocutor. However, Tony was acting strange. Instead of following me to my corner and whining and crying about how unfair it was for me to immediately turn on my diarrhea barf death shield, he plopped his little skinny butt down in front of the TV, turned it on, and flipped on a little contraption that was connected to it. Curious, I ventured out of my safe haven and sat down next to him. As I watched the little stick figure explorer run across the screen, swing from vine to vine, and jump over dark pits, I was entranced. What was this glorious device? Tony explained to me that it was a video game system called the Atari 2600, and he was playing the video game Pitfall. He paused the game and handed the controller over to me and told me to try it. I took the moist controller from Tony's clammy hands and began to play. From that point on, I was hooked, and Tony was my new best friend. He was awesome at Pitfall and could get much further in the game than I could. And that was SO COOL.
After that day, I would ask my mom on a daily basis if we could go visit Tony. Although I loved the Atari 2600, I also began to really like Tony. Once I got past his grimy appearance, I found that he was a sweet, sincere, and generous kid, and he very quickly became my best friend. For my next birthday, my mom got me an Atari 2600, but that didn't stop me from hanging out with Tony almost all the time. Not only was Tony my best friend, but he was also a trend-setter and taste-maker to me. Everything he said and did was awesome, and I wanted to say and do it too. As we grew up, Tony and I became first adopters of video games and video game systems. We were true video game geeks. Our parents probably spent enough money on video games to put both of us through college. Kind of sad. Nonetheless, as different brands of video games and video game systems came and went, Tony and I stayed close.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Three of My Favs
I don't typically think of myself as a guy who pays that much attention to brands, but there are a few that are very close to my heart and to which I am extremely loyal.
Apple
I think Apple makes awesome, high-quality products. I've never been unhappy with a product that I've purchased from Apple. I am a Mac guy through and through, and I wouldn't be able to motivate myself through my workouts without my iPod. I know some people think they're too secretive, their products lack compatibility with widely-used programs and software, they're a corporate bully, blah, blah, blah. I can understand these complaints and think they're valid in some instances. Nevertheless, when it comes down to it I love Apple products because of their user-friendly operating systems, sleek designs, consistency, and innovation. Not to mention their marketing campaigns are pretty cool, too.
Nintendo
I've loved video games since I got my first Atari 2600 in 1986 when I was six years old. After that, I was hooked on video games until I graduated from college. After college, work picked up, I had to travel more, and I gave up video games for several years due to my shifting priorities and lack of free time. However, video games have made a recent resurgence in my life in large part due to Nintendo.
When post-college life began to get really hectic, video games were one of the first things that I decided to give up. For most of my video game career, I had been a first adopter - always the first kid on my block to shell out a couple hundred bones for the latest video game system. After college, this was no longer the case. The respective releases of the Xbox 360, the Playstation 3, and the Nintendo Wii came and went, and I hardly noticed.
Then about a year ago, I moved in with a new roommate who owned a Nintendo Wii. I didn't think much of the Wii at first. In fact, my first impressions of the Wii came as I watched my roommate make a complete ass out of himself playing a game called Rayman Raving Rabbids. The game required that he twist, contort, and thrash about in what looked to me like full-body dry heaves. He said it was fun. I said he looked like a douche and warned him never to play the game when we had company over.
It turns out I was too quick to judge. Although I never got into Rayman Raving Rabbids, my roommate had downloaded several old Nintendo games onto the Wii that I had played when I was a kid, including the granddaddy of them all Super Mario Bros. One day after a hard day at work, I decided to relax with a quick game of my old fav. After that, I was immediately hooked again. The easy gameplay, simple graphics, and amazing fun factor took me back to my childhood. After playing the original Mario for a bit, I had to try the latest rendition of Mario for the Wii - Mario Galaxy - which my roommate also owned. It was awesome - Galaxy had incredibly easy yet innovative gameplay, gorgeous graphics, and that same consistent fun factor of the original. And that's why I love Nintento. I always know what I'm going to get: simplicity, innovation, and just straight up fun.
Converse
I got my first pair of Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars when I was still in diapers, and I think I've had at least one pair in my closet ever since. My dad has always been a big fan of Converse and has also had at least one pair of Chucks in his wardrobe at all times. He still reminds me on a regular basis that before the era of $150 space-age basketball shoes and long, baggy shorts Chuck Taylors were king. According to him, when he was young Chucks were the dominant athletic footwear of the time - they were the choice for most athletes, and especially basketball players. He also likes to note that athletes back then preferred short shorts pulled up to their belly buttons as opposed to the longer, baggier variety popular today. Those were simpler times after all, and since he's been doing this stuff since before I was born, he's got to teach me these things... That's almost a direct quote.
Anyway, since this is apparently a topic that he's passionate about, my dad still loves to rock it old school with his Chuck Taylors and belly-button-waisted short shorts, staying true to his convictions and refusing to conform to current fashion trends. Honestly, I could truly do without the short shorts. If he moves too quickly, there's at least a 50 percent likelihood of indecent exposure, and nobody needs to see that. But on the other hand, I really dig his Chuck Taylors. His Chucks are probably the coolest casual clothing that he wears. And I obviously love them, too. I really like their variety of styles, comfortable fit, and affordability. Like my dad, I will always have at least one pair of Chucks in my repertoire. They're timeless. Belly-button-waisted short shorts? Not so much.
Apple
I think Apple makes awesome, high-quality products. I've never been unhappy with a product that I've purchased from Apple. I am a Mac guy through and through, and I wouldn't be able to motivate myself through my workouts without my iPod. I know some people think they're too secretive, their products lack compatibility with widely-used programs and software, they're a corporate bully, blah, blah, blah. I can understand these complaints and think they're valid in some instances. Nevertheless, when it comes down to it I love Apple products because of their user-friendly operating systems, sleek designs, consistency, and innovation. Not to mention their marketing campaigns are pretty cool, too.
Nintendo
I've loved video games since I got my first Atari 2600 in 1986 when I was six years old. After that, I was hooked on video games until I graduated from college. After college, work picked up, I had to travel more, and I gave up video games for several years due to my shifting priorities and lack of free time. However, video games have made a recent resurgence in my life in large part due to Nintendo.
When post-college life began to get really hectic, video games were one of the first things that I decided to give up. For most of my video game career, I had been a first adopter - always the first kid on my block to shell out a couple hundred bones for the latest video game system. After college, this was no longer the case. The respective releases of the Xbox 360, the Playstation 3, and the Nintendo Wii came and went, and I hardly noticed.
Then about a year ago, I moved in with a new roommate who owned a Nintendo Wii. I didn't think much of the Wii at first. In fact, my first impressions of the Wii came as I watched my roommate make a complete ass out of himself playing a game called Rayman Raving Rabbids. The game required that he twist, contort, and thrash about in what looked to me like full-body dry heaves. He said it was fun. I said he looked like a douche and warned him never to play the game when we had company over.
It turns out I was too quick to judge. Although I never got into Rayman Raving Rabbids, my roommate had downloaded several old Nintendo games onto the Wii that I had played when I was a kid, including the granddaddy of them all Super Mario Bros. One day after a hard day at work, I decided to relax with a quick game of my old fav. After that, I was immediately hooked again. The easy gameplay, simple graphics, and amazing fun factor took me back to my childhood. After playing the original Mario for a bit, I had to try the latest rendition of Mario for the Wii - Mario Galaxy - which my roommate also owned. It was awesome - Galaxy had incredibly easy yet innovative gameplay, gorgeous graphics, and that same consistent fun factor of the original. And that's why I love Nintento. I always know what I'm going to get: simplicity, innovation, and just straight up fun.
Converse
I got my first pair of Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars when I was still in diapers, and I think I've had at least one pair in my closet ever since. My dad has always been a big fan of Converse and has also had at least one pair of Chucks in his wardrobe at all times. He still reminds me on a regular basis that before the era of $150 space-age basketball shoes and long, baggy shorts Chuck Taylors were king. According to him, when he was young Chucks were the dominant athletic footwear of the time - they were the choice for most athletes, and especially basketball players. He also likes to note that athletes back then preferred short shorts pulled up to their belly buttons as opposed to the longer, baggier variety popular today. Those were simpler times after all, and since he's been doing this stuff since before I was born, he's got to teach me these things... That's almost a direct quote.
Anyway, since this is apparently a topic that he's passionate about, my dad still loves to rock it old school with his Chuck Taylors and belly-button-waisted short shorts, staying true to his convictions and refusing to conform to current fashion trends. Honestly, I could truly do without the short shorts. If he moves too quickly, there's at least a 50 percent likelihood of indecent exposure, and nobody needs to see that. But on the other hand, I really dig his Chuck Taylors. His Chucks are probably the coolest casual clothing that he wears. And I obviously love them, too. I really like their variety of styles, comfortable fit, and affordability. Like my dad, I will always have at least one pair of Chucks in my repertoire. They're timeless. Belly-button-waisted short shorts? Not so much.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Why I Love and Hate Whole Foods
I really enjoyed Whole Foods Marketing Director Heather Kennedy's presentation to us this week. However, I have very mixed feelings about the Whole Foods brand. It's definitely a love/hate relationship. I love Whole Foods because it offers high-quality, nutritious products, but I hate Whole Foods because it's too damn expensive.
My opinion of the Whole Foods brand has gone through three very distinct evolutionary stages. When I was a little boy growing up in Dallas, my mom used to take me shopping for groceries with her, and we would occasionally go to a local Whole Foods Market. Although my mom loved Whole Foods, I was not a fan. I much preferred traditional grocery stores like Albertson's or Tom Thumb. From what I remember, Whole Foods wigged me out a little bit. First of all, Whole Foods didn't have a toy aisle. What the hell was up with that? It was impossible for me to get my jollies in a grocery store without a toy aisle. I was stuck with mom squeezing the grapefruit and thumping the cantaloupe, and that was no fun. Thus, not having a toy aisle was a huge negative. Second of all, the store layout was weird. Not only was there no toy aisle, but there were no aisles at all. You had to follow a particular path around the store, and this felt very restricting to me. I didn't like it. Lastly, the folks that shopped there made me uncomfortable. Unlike customers at regular grocery stores, they looked a little dirty to me, like homeless folks who had just stopped at a public restroom for a brief, impromptu spritz. I remember a lot of tie dyes, long hair on heads and faces as well as in other places, leather sandals, sundresses, and a very distinct odor in the air. I realize now that they were just old hippies, but they freaked me out at the time all the same.
My impression of the Whole Foods brand didn't change much from the time that I stopped grocery shopping with my mom at around the age of ten until I was about twenty-four. When I was twenty-four, I moved to Clarksville, the neighborhood just west of Lamar and north of 6th Street. My closest grocery store was Whole Foods, and as a result I shopped there frequently out of convenience. While living in Clarksville, Whole Foods became a staple in my life. They sold high-quality, nutritious food, put on cool events and classes, and fostered a real sense community with the surrounding neighborhood. When shopping there, I'd see the same customers and helpful, courteous Whole Foods staff all the time. I thought it was awesome. It truly was an experience that I enjoyed as opposed to an obligatory errand that I had to run. I really bought into the Whole Foods brand. Although prices were pretty high, I didn't mind paying the premium for the quality, service, and experience since I had a pretty good job and a decent income. I could afford it... or so I thought.
My honeymoon with the Whole Foods brand did not last. As I continued to mature out of my undergrad college phase and my spending priorities shifted from simply food, booze, and partying to nicer clothes for work and play, occasional nice dinners, and a vacation here and there, it hit me that buying groceries at Whole Foods was a luxury that I could no longer afford if I wanted to enjoy those other things. After shopping there consistently for about a year, I suddenly didn't feel like I had such a great job nor that decent of an income. I had been spending over $500 per month on groceries alone at Whole Foods. It was outrageous. Thus, I found an alternative. I began dividing my trips to the grocery store among HEB, Randall's, and Central Market. Each store has its benefits: HEB has overall low prices in addition to a great little organic/natural section; Randall's offers a rewards club card that saves me about $10 to $20 every time I shop there; and finally Central Market offers a Whole Foods-like experience - i.e. quality organic/natural products, helpful staff, sense of community, etc. - at a more affordable price.
Consequently, now I'm not as big of a fan of Whole Foods. I still love the store, the concept, and the experience, but I hate the high prices. It's just too damn expensive, especially now that I'm in school and don't have a regular income. My Semos Fitness training biz could barely cover a week's worth of groceries over there. Furthermore, I hate the snobby attitude that some Whole Foods customers have. Snobby might be too strong of a word, but there's definitely an air of elitism among some Whole Foods customers, in my opinion. And I used to be one of them. When I used to shop at Whole Foods regularly, I felt like I would die if I had to eat unnatural, inorganic food products from a conventional grocery store like HEB or Randall's. Their food was dirty and would undoubtedly contaminate my body. I'm using hyperbole here of course, but still I was pretty bad. It was kind of pathetic. I'm annoying myself right now just thinking about it.
Heather listed the following characteristics of the Whole Foods brand:
- exceptional quality
- authentic
- experts on food
- trusted source
- passionate
- strong sense of community
- care for the environment
- deep respect for Team Members
I agree with all of these characteristics. And I appreciate that Whole Foods crafts their messaging around their core brand values as opposed to crafting their messaging based on what they think consumers want to hear. Hell, they appear to have an awesome corporate culture, and I'd love to work there. Nonetheless, I think that Heather's list is missing two characteristics of the Whole Foods brand that are unappealing to a lot of people: excessively high prices and semi-snobby customer culture.
Whole Foods Celebrities and Why They Annoy Me
Hayden Panettiere - She's one of the reasons why the show Heroes sucks now. She plays the role of the quintessential rebellious teen, crying and whining while defying her father and trying to be tough. It was cute at first I guess, but now it's just straight up annoying. I'm sick of them saving the cheerleader. I wish they'd just kill her off already. Let Sylar eat her brains. Decentigrate her with a nuke. Something!
Lauren Conrad - She's rich and famous because... uh... I don't know why she's famous. And that's REALLY annoying. Get a friggin' job! Stupid celebutante...
Hillary Duff - I don't know much about Hillary Duff. But she doesn't look like she used to because she's got huge fake teeth. She looks like a damn horse. And that's annoying.
My opinion of the Whole Foods brand has gone through three very distinct evolutionary stages. When I was a little boy growing up in Dallas, my mom used to take me shopping for groceries with her, and we would occasionally go to a local Whole Foods Market. Although my mom loved Whole Foods, I was not a fan. I much preferred traditional grocery stores like Albertson's or Tom Thumb. From what I remember, Whole Foods wigged me out a little bit. First of all, Whole Foods didn't have a toy aisle. What the hell was up with that? It was impossible for me to get my jollies in a grocery store without a toy aisle. I was stuck with mom squeezing the grapefruit and thumping the cantaloupe, and that was no fun. Thus, not having a toy aisle was a huge negative. Second of all, the store layout was weird. Not only was there no toy aisle, but there were no aisles at all. You had to follow a particular path around the store, and this felt very restricting to me. I didn't like it. Lastly, the folks that shopped there made me uncomfortable. Unlike customers at regular grocery stores, they looked a little dirty to me, like homeless folks who had just stopped at a public restroom for a brief, impromptu spritz. I remember a lot of tie dyes, long hair on heads and faces as well as in other places, leather sandals, sundresses, and a very distinct odor in the air. I realize now that they were just old hippies, but they freaked me out at the time all the same.
My impression of the Whole Foods brand didn't change much from the time that I stopped grocery shopping with my mom at around the age of ten until I was about twenty-four. When I was twenty-four, I moved to Clarksville, the neighborhood just west of Lamar and north of 6th Street. My closest grocery store was Whole Foods, and as a result I shopped there frequently out of convenience. While living in Clarksville, Whole Foods became a staple in my life. They sold high-quality, nutritious food, put on cool events and classes, and fostered a real sense community with the surrounding neighborhood. When shopping there, I'd see the same customers and helpful, courteous Whole Foods staff all the time. I thought it was awesome. It truly was an experience that I enjoyed as opposed to an obligatory errand that I had to run. I really bought into the Whole Foods brand. Although prices were pretty high, I didn't mind paying the premium for the quality, service, and experience since I had a pretty good job and a decent income. I could afford it... or so I thought.
My honeymoon with the Whole Foods brand did not last. As I continued to mature out of my undergrad college phase and my spending priorities shifted from simply food, booze, and partying to nicer clothes for work and play, occasional nice dinners, and a vacation here and there, it hit me that buying groceries at Whole Foods was a luxury that I could no longer afford if I wanted to enjoy those other things. After shopping there consistently for about a year, I suddenly didn't feel like I had such a great job nor that decent of an income. I had been spending over $500 per month on groceries alone at Whole Foods. It was outrageous. Thus, I found an alternative. I began dividing my trips to the grocery store among HEB, Randall's, and Central Market. Each store has its benefits: HEB has overall low prices in addition to a great little organic/natural section; Randall's offers a rewards club card that saves me about $10 to $20 every time I shop there; and finally Central Market offers a Whole Foods-like experience - i.e. quality organic/natural products, helpful staff, sense of community, etc. - at a more affordable price.
Consequently, now I'm not as big of a fan of Whole Foods. I still love the store, the concept, and the experience, but I hate the high prices. It's just too damn expensive, especially now that I'm in school and don't have a regular income. My Semos Fitness training biz could barely cover a week's worth of groceries over there. Furthermore, I hate the snobby attitude that some Whole Foods customers have. Snobby might be too strong of a word, but there's definitely an air of elitism among some Whole Foods customers, in my opinion. And I used to be one of them. When I used to shop at Whole Foods regularly, I felt like I would die if I had to eat unnatural, inorganic food products from a conventional grocery store like HEB or Randall's. Their food was dirty and would undoubtedly contaminate my body. I'm using hyperbole here of course, but still I was pretty bad. It was kind of pathetic. I'm annoying myself right now just thinking about it.
Heather listed the following characteristics of the Whole Foods brand:
- exceptional quality
- authentic
- experts on food
- trusted source
- passionate
- strong sense of community
- care for the environment
- deep respect for Team Members
I agree with all of these characteristics. And I appreciate that Whole Foods crafts their messaging around their core brand values as opposed to crafting their messaging based on what they think consumers want to hear. Hell, they appear to have an awesome corporate culture, and I'd love to work there. Nonetheless, I think that Heather's list is missing two characteristics of the Whole Foods brand that are unappealing to a lot of people: excessively high prices and semi-snobby customer culture.
Whole Foods Celebrities and Why They Annoy Me
Hayden Panettiere - She's one of the reasons why the show Heroes sucks now. She plays the role of the quintessential rebellious teen, crying and whining while defying her father and trying to be tough. It was cute at first I guess, but now it's just straight up annoying. I'm sick of them saving the cheerleader. I wish they'd just kill her off already. Let Sylar eat her brains. Decentigrate her with a nuke. Something!
Lauren Conrad - She's rich and famous because... uh... I don't know why she's famous. And that's REALLY annoying. Get a friggin' job! Stupid celebutante...
Hillary Duff - I don't know much about Hillary Duff. But she doesn't look like she used to because she's got huge fake teeth. She looks like a damn horse. And that's annoying.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Semos Brand Fitness
To earn some extra cash while in school, I've started a little boot camp business. I call my biz Semos Fitness. I hold morning boot camp sessions three times per week at various locations around town, rotating among a few different spots in south and central Austin. I offer two monthly training packages as well as an individual training session rate and a fitness assessment service. Boot camp sessions vary widely from day to day and include training elements to build strength, stamina, and flexibility. I also offer individual email workouts every week and invite my clients to join me in my daily workouts if they're interested.
Thus far, it's going pretty well. I've had some repeat business and increased my client base over the past two months. However, I've encountered a little marketing dilemma as of late.
Since my time is limited due to school, I try to take full advantage of these boot camp sessions and work out with the group. As a result, I take a semi-laissez-faire approach to training. Besides being an efficient use of my time, working out with the group is also a good motivational tactic. Instead of simply barking orders and counting reps, I'm working hard and pushing myself along with them. I have found that this training approach works very well with my more experienced clients who have an athletic/fitness background - i.e. played high school sports, worked out regularly prior to boot camp, etc. However, recently a couple of my less experienced clients have been requesting more coaching and guidance during class. I'm happy to give the additional coaching, but it takes away from my boot camp workout. As a result, I end up having to work out later in the day, which takes time away from my studies. In addition, some of my less experienced clients have difficulty completing some of the more advanced workouts that really appeal to those who are more experienced.
Thus, herein lies my marketing dilemma: should I market my boot camp to more experienced clients with a certain level of athletic/fitness acumen or should I focus on athletic/fitness novices? Since I don't have enough time to offer both a novice and advanced class, I'm going to have to specialize in one or the other. I enjoy coaching to and working out with my more experienced clients, but I think there's a larger market for novice-level boot camps. I'm not sure how to proceed just yet. To be continued...
I'm quite fond of the logo personally. My first digital media property.
Thus far, it's going pretty well. I've had some repeat business and increased my client base over the past two months. However, I've encountered a little marketing dilemma as of late.
Since my time is limited due to school, I try to take full advantage of these boot camp sessions and work out with the group. As a result, I take a semi-laissez-faire approach to training. Besides being an efficient use of my time, working out with the group is also a good motivational tactic. Instead of simply barking orders and counting reps, I'm working hard and pushing myself along with them. I have found that this training approach works very well with my more experienced clients who have an athletic/fitness background - i.e. played high school sports, worked out regularly prior to boot camp, etc. However, recently a couple of my less experienced clients have been requesting more coaching and guidance during class. I'm happy to give the additional coaching, but it takes away from my boot camp workout. As a result, I end up having to work out later in the day, which takes time away from my studies. In addition, some of my less experienced clients have difficulty completing some of the more advanced workouts that really appeal to those who are more experienced.
Thus, herein lies my marketing dilemma: should I market my boot camp to more experienced clients with a certain level of athletic/fitness acumen or should I focus on athletic/fitness novices? Since I don't have enough time to offer both a novice and advanced class, I'm going to have to specialize in one or the other. I enjoy coaching to and working out with my more experienced clients, but I think there's a larger market for novice-level boot camps. I'm not sure how to proceed just yet. To be continued...
I'm quite fond of the logo personally. My first digital media property.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Dog Poop, Name Brands, and One Man's Epiphany
I came home the other day to find a couple of lovely surprises waiting for me from my girlfriend's dogs Carl and Bella. They had left two little presents just for me - one in the living room and one in the bathtub. The turd in the living room was typical - their usual M.O., a means of punishment that they utilize relatively frequently when they feel that they've been left alone for a tad too long. However, the turd in the bathtub still perplexes me. Why the bathtub? Were they attempting to defile the area where I clean myself to demonstrate their sense of irony? My girlfriend thinks they roll down car windows, open doors, and turn on faucets on purpose, but I'm not so sure. I still think it's just luck. I'm still not convinced that their that smart... or vindictive. But I digress.
Anyway, this had the potential to be an extremely explosive situation. My roommate isn't a big fan of the dogs, and I expected him home any minute. If he were to come home and find these two stink bombs waiting for him, he'd surely ban the pups from the apartment for life. Thus, time was of the essence. I scrambled to find all the necessary cleaning supplies - air freshener, Lysol, carpet cleaner, Clorox, stain removers, Febreeze, etc. I found the air freshener, Lysol, carpet cleaner, stain remover, and Febreeze, but I couldn't find the Clorox. Clorox was critical if I were going to pull this off - the fresh, clean smell of bleach would undoubtedly mask the scent of doodoo. I ransacked the kitchen, the laundry room, and the bathroom to no avail. The Clorox was nowhere to be found.
Precious seconds were slipping away, so I decided to do the best with what I had. I took care of the crap in the living room first using Lysol, carpet cleaner, stain remover, and Febreeze liberally. I then moved to the bathtub. Since I couldn't find the Clorox, I had to revert to plan B. I slathered the floor of the bathtub with a mixture of hand soap, Head & Shoulders, and Old Spice 2-in-1 Hair & Body Wash. I then threw on the shower and rinsed the thick amalgamation of bath and body care products down the drain. As I emerged from the bathroom, I heard my roommate coming in. I was terrified that he might get a slight whiff of the aftermath. Luckily though, as a result of the thick clouds of Febreeze and air freshener still lingering in the air, he assumed that I had just suddenly gone on a wild cleaning frenzy - not my style at all, by the way, but whatever. He actually thanked me for doing something that he's too damn lazy to do and thus was none the wiser. I had saved Carl and Bella's stinky asses. They are safe and welcome (relatively speaking) at my apartment... for now.
Recalling the incident later on, I had a sudden realization. I'm surprisingly particular when it comes to certain cleaning supplies and body care products. I have never thought of myself as being that focused on the brand names of products like these, but I apparently am. When I was scrambling to find the necessary cleaning supplies, I thought of the products just as I listed them above - "What do I need? I need [generic] air freshener, Lysol disinfectant spray, [generic] carpet cleaner, Clorox, [generic] stain remover, and Febreeze." The same for the body care products - generic hand soap, Head & Shoulders shampoo, and Old Spice 2-in-1 Hair & Body Wash. These are all products for which I have never consciously considered brands when purchasing. However, I obviously have strong brand loyalty to certain products. How deeply does my subconscious brand loyalty run? The same day that I pulled off the crazy caca caper cover-up, I found a full bottle of generic brand bleach in the laundry room. I had overlooked it because it wasn't Clorox brand bleach. Go figure.
The Culprits
Carl
Bella
(They sure look guilty, don't they?)
Anyway, this had the potential to be an extremely explosive situation. My roommate isn't a big fan of the dogs, and I expected him home any minute. If he were to come home and find these two stink bombs waiting for him, he'd surely ban the pups from the apartment for life. Thus, time was of the essence. I scrambled to find all the necessary cleaning supplies - air freshener, Lysol, carpet cleaner, Clorox, stain removers, Febreeze, etc. I found the air freshener, Lysol, carpet cleaner, stain remover, and Febreeze, but I couldn't find the Clorox. Clorox was critical if I were going to pull this off - the fresh, clean smell of bleach would undoubtedly mask the scent of doodoo. I ransacked the kitchen, the laundry room, and the bathroom to no avail. The Clorox was nowhere to be found.
Precious seconds were slipping away, so I decided to do the best with what I had. I took care of the crap in the living room first using Lysol, carpet cleaner, stain remover, and Febreeze liberally. I then moved to the bathtub. Since I couldn't find the Clorox, I had to revert to plan B. I slathered the floor of the bathtub with a mixture of hand soap, Head & Shoulders, and Old Spice 2-in-1 Hair & Body Wash. I then threw on the shower and rinsed the thick amalgamation of bath and body care products down the drain. As I emerged from the bathroom, I heard my roommate coming in. I was terrified that he might get a slight whiff of the aftermath. Luckily though, as a result of the thick clouds of Febreeze and air freshener still lingering in the air, he assumed that I had just suddenly gone on a wild cleaning frenzy - not my style at all, by the way, but whatever. He actually thanked me for doing something that he's too damn lazy to do and thus was none the wiser. I had saved Carl and Bella's stinky asses. They are safe and welcome (relatively speaking) at my apartment... for now.
Recalling the incident later on, I had a sudden realization. I'm surprisingly particular when it comes to certain cleaning supplies and body care products. I have never thought of myself as being that focused on the brand names of products like these, but I apparently am. When I was scrambling to find the necessary cleaning supplies, I thought of the products just as I listed them above - "What do I need? I need [generic] air freshener, Lysol disinfectant spray, [generic] carpet cleaner, Clorox, [generic] stain remover, and Febreeze." The same for the body care products - generic hand soap, Head & Shoulders shampoo, and Old Spice 2-in-1 Hair & Body Wash. These are all products for which I have never consciously considered brands when purchasing. However, I obviously have strong brand loyalty to certain products. How deeply does my subconscious brand loyalty run? The same day that I pulled off the crazy caca caper cover-up, I found a full bottle of generic brand bleach in the laundry room. I had overlooked it because it wasn't Clorox brand bleach. Go figure.
The Culprits
Carl
Bella
(They sure look guilty, don't they?)
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